You smell like stripper and shame
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
