Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you win again, gameday.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
