Screwed.edu
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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