fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
