sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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