Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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