you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Randomize
