But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
