Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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