you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
