apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
