She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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