Little spoons don't ask big questions
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
