That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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