Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
