Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm too high and old for this...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
