the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
