Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
