Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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