she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
