You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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