i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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