I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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