i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
