Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
