i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
