I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
