we have officially lost it.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
