Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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