help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
