HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
