Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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