I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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