We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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