If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
