i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
