is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
