you guys were way drunker than both of me
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
