I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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