Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Randomize
