I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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