I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
