ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
