If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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