I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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