How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
