Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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