She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
