When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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