Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
he puts the penis in happiness.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
cat food counts as protein by the way
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
