She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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