glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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