I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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