just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
